


Plot, What Timeline?

by lil_1337



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-01
Updated: 2005-08-01
Packaged: 2017-11-06 10:12:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/417677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_1337/pseuds/lil_1337
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Challenge with Hex, Quatre gets turned into a cat and has to make Trowa recognize him.  Think fractured fairy tales on crack with a side of mushrooms just for the pretty colors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Plot, What Timeline?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hexadecimal00](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Hexadecimal00).



Once upon a time in a kingdom far far away there lived a handsome prince by the name of Quatre R. Winner. He had sunshine locks the color of spun gold and eyes the looked like the waves that danced happily on the shore. The color anyway, his eyes didn’t actually dance or anything. There was only one problem with this perfect specimen of bishouenness, well besides that whole gay thing. He was a complete and utter asshole! He was rude to the servants, kicked the dogs and disrespected his illustrious father at every chance. His family despaired at ever turning him into a prince they could be proud to send out into the world. No one liked him. Even the royal hangers on who would kiss the ass of anyone in power avoided him and that’s saying something.

Prince Quatre did have one friend, a young man that he had played with since he was a very small tyrant in training. His name was Trowa Barton and he was the prince in the neighboring kingdom of La Circus. Prince Trowa was the only person who Prince Quatre was nice to. They would play duets, skinny dip in the moat, and play with their toy soldiers. Well, they did until the day that Prince Quatre told his father, the illustrious king, that when he grew up he wanted to marry Prince Trowa not some boring old princess. Unfortunately for Queen Quatrina the illustrious king was taking a drink of hot cider at the time. She never did get those stains out of that dress either. And what a shame, it was a Paris original, in dark blue velvet with full sleeves and a high bodice. But I digress.

The King was so /not/ happy to find that his precious son batted, and heaven forbid caught, for the other team so he forbid Prince Quatre from ever seeing Prince Trowa again upon pain of well, pain, or something. Well as they say that went over like a ton of gundanium, which surprisingly is not a lot what with Gundanium being so dense and all, and Prince Quatre went from acting like a spoiled but cute brat to a full-blown drama queen. He threw a tantrum that had the kingdom shaking in its boots and Hollywood divas on the phone begging for lessons. He screamed, he pouted, he sulked, he threw things and generally made life miserable for all those around him. Yes, he was that self-involved but we already knew that.

Then one day while staring out his window and aiming rocks at the guards below he got an idea. The prince got a wonderful awful idea. He would run away, yep, that’s exactly what he would do. Run away and go to the neighboring kingdom where they appreciated him and his princelyness. Prince Trowa’s father would understand and protect him. After all King Triton loved the village people and knew all the hand motions to YMCA, how cool was that? /And/ he let all the wandering soldiers hang out at his castle if they needed a place to stay. All he had to do was get a message to Prince Trowa and let him know he was on the way. How hard could that be, after all he was /the prince/ and everyone loved and worshipped him. Ok, feared his ass but that was the same thing right?

It didn’t take long for Prince Quatre to discover that he not loved and worshipped at all. In fact, people ran the other direction when he tried to approach them. Not even the promise of gold would persuade anyone to help his cause. Prince Quatre could find no able assistance from anyone within the castle walls. His father had let it be known that anyone who helped him would be fired. Not become employed but actually fired, out of a cannon, or a fanon. I get those confused.

Then, one day help arrived in the guise of a blonde witch by the name of Dorothy Catalonia. After dinner one night he cornered her and asked for her help. Ok, demanded it, but in a nice tone of voice which for Prince Quatre was as close to asking as he got. Dorothy listened to his tale of woe and informed the poor lovesick prince that she could smuggle him out of the castle but it would cost him, of course. Fortunately Prince Quatre had been saving his allowance and had just enough to cover her fee plus tax. They hammered out the final agreement, which included something about giving her a royal heir but Prince Quatre really did not listen to that part. He’d just get the royal lawyers to find a loophole for him when that time came. After all, he was only 15 and had no idea how to get a royal heir anyway. Prince Quatre bounced off with the happy knowledge he would soon be with his beloved Prince Trowa and not the least bit worried that he had made a deal that he intended to break with a powerful witch. Which just goes to show he was cute but not real bright.

Dorothy was true to her word and two days later snuck Prince Quatre out of the castle. Once they were free of the place she took him back to her traditional cottage in the middle of a briar patch and demanded payment, including her royal heir. Prince Quatre tried to stall but she would not be appeased even when he asked her if there was a store he could buy one at. Finally in a fit of frustration she explained to him just what he needed to do to give her the heir she had been promised. Prince Quatre was horrified at the thought of doing /that/ with a /girl/. He tried to let her down gently, well ok he screamed no fucking way in bloody hell was /his/ dick was going /there/, but the witch did not take it well. In a fit of rage she transformed him into the one thing his love would never desire, a cat. She laughed evilly and informed the now hissing prince that only a kiss from his true love would return him to his original form. Prince Quatre leapt through an open window and ran out into the woods. He would find Prince Trowa and get him to kiss him. Then they would live happily ever after. They call them fairy tales for a reason right?

So our intrepid prince wandered through the forest until he came upon a road. Thinking this was a good thing he followed it until he saw a castle in the distance. He was overjoyed and ran towards it. Soon he would be with his beloved Prince Trowa. He was almost to the gate when he realized that he had come back to his own castle, Western Enchanted Isle or WEI for short. Staring at the walls of stone he swore. Which in cat sounds like rawor, pssssfftttt, hiss and usually involves peeing on something just for spite.

Four months later after many exciting adventures and that unfortunate town burning incident he arrived at La Circus. He had learned much on his journey and had changed from a self-involved brat to a wonderful caring person in a cat form. Which as anyone who reads allegories knows is the whole point of being transformed into an animal and forced to seek out your true love. He snuck into the kitchen to hear the gossip and discovered that Prince Trowa had also had run in with the Dorothy the witch. Though in Prince Trowa’s case it was an actual run in that involved a cart, two donkeys, six bales of hay and a set of jumper cables. She had screamed that he would show the world his true form and poof Prince Trowa was transformed into a rooster. Prince Quatre rushed out of the kitchen and went in search of the hen house. He would find Prince Trowa, they would kiss and both be transformed back into their handsome young selves. Though Prince Quatre had to admit he would miss that whole being able to lick his own balls thing. Can you blame him?

Prince Quatre found the hen house without too much trouble and immediately recognized his beloved Prince Trowa by the brown feathers covering one of his eyes. The problem was how to get his attention so he could get that all-important kiss. Prince Trowa stood off to the side, away from the other chickens that were cozying up to the rooster of their choice. Prince Quatre bathed himself in the warm sunshine so he would be presentable then strutted along the side of the coop. The other roosters rushed to pace with him but not Prince Trowa. Apparently this rooster did not like hot cats. Who would have guessed, besides witch Dorothy of course?

Prince Quatre sighed in frustration and plopped down where he could see the whole coop and began to wash himself. Slowly his pink tongue worked its way up and down his golden tail, in long slow strokes. He tongued his balls, gently smoothing the fur in a circular pattern. The roosters’ eyes widened and they backed away quickly to hide in with the chickens. Prince Quatre looked up to see he now had Prince Trowa’s full attention. The rooster had drifted towards the fence, his bright green eye fixed on the cat’s long tongue. Yes, thought Prince Quatre, now to get him to recognize me. He rose to where he was standing on two legs and mimed playing a violin, which is rather difficult when you have paws and no fingers. Prince Trowa squawked loudly and flapped his wings wildly before rushing to the fence. He stuck his beak through the mesh meeting the mouth of Prince Quatre. There was a poof of smoke and instead of a rooster and a cat there was two handsome but stinky princes. Seriously, have you ever smelled eau de chicken coop?

The two princes eventually married and moved to SanFrancisco where they work as studio musicians and make sure to attend Y-con every year just to eye the other bishies and laugh at the yaoi fan girls who think man love doesn’t require prep or lube. The witch Dorothy abandoned her dream to be the mother of a prince and ran off with the princess from a near by kingdom instead. Rumor has it witch Dorothy was transformed by the power of love and they have lunch with the princes whenever they’re in town. The king threw out his old fashioned views of the world and decided to let his oldest daughter inherit the kingdom. She was a wise and fair ruler though often heard to lament that her brother was a better queen than she was. The moral of the story, oops sorry, the /im/moral of the story is it doesn’t matter if you are a cock or a pussy, your true love will know you. 


End file.
